Two and a half years ago, I went through the darkest time of my life. My faithful blog readers know I went through a divorce and resigned the pastorate during that time. I was blown away by what people said to me. I want to suggest to you not to say these things.
- “I understand what you’re going through.” Don’t you dare say that if you haven’t lost your family and ministry/career at the same time. Don’t say that to someone who lost a child when you haven’t. Please think before you speak.
- “All things work together for good…” You might think I’m unspiritual for not wanting to hear that, but that is not the time for the super spiritual to show off.
- “You must have sin in your life.” I won’t even go there!
- Don’t say anything to try to fix me! Only God can fix me!
- Don’t come comparing your problems with mine so mine look smaller! It isn’t a contest.
What you should do:
- “Weep with those who weep”, as it says in Romans 12.
- Don’t say anything! Just be there! Your presence means more than your words.
- A hug meant the world to me from people who really cared.
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes before you try to do anything to “help” the situation. That makes all the difference in the world.