When the Problem Is Everybody Else

I cannot tell you how many times I have listened to people with problems. That’s what I do! As a pastor and chaplain, I counsel people. Many times, I hear story upon story about multiple people who have done certain things and they are the ones to blame for everything. “They made me mad!” Oh really? They have that much power of you? Getting mad and how you react is not your personal choice?

What is going on when everyone else is the problem? Could it be that potentially hundreds of people are the root problem in your life, or is it that you have a ton of pride and arrogance to the point that you never accept responsibility for your own actions and reactions?

We can so easily deceive ourselves. We accept the bondage of misery because we choose to shift blame. “I wouldn’t be this way if…” or “That’s just the way that I am!” And then you complain about not having any friends or your “friends” being fake? Maybe they’re fake because they don’t want you to blow up at them like you always do?

I have no personal agenda with this post. It was, however, prompted by a conversation earlier this week. I struggled with this to some degree earlier in my life. I was always shifting blame about certain issues when I was the problem. I had to change.

The answer is to face the facts. No matter how much it hurts, we must admit that the problem is within us. We must answer first for ourselves. If all is well with us, God will deal with others. Every day is a great day to do a reality check!

9 thoughts on “When the Problem Is Everybody Else

  1. LOL! Amen. I’m laughing here because at one point in my life the problem really was everyone else. Dozens of friends, family, and acquaintances, all pretty much had me convinced I was the problem. Those relationships all got very one sided and exploitative. Finally God had to holler down at me, “Hey, you have not one single believer in your entire social circle!” I could not believe it, but when I looked around, it was true. When kids do that with their own peer groups we get concerned, but I had totally missed it in myself. 🙂

    1. You approach a very valid angle. Many people do grow up in toxic environments where family members and “friends” are constantly belittling and we eventually believe the lies. I pray that someone will read your comment and be enlightened by the Lord that they have value in Him.

  2. I love this post. I remember years ago I heard a message entitled “Lord, Change Me”, Basically, it was about asking God to change me so I would understand the other person who bothered me instead of praying they would be changed. Since then I have learned that God will put difficult people in my path to teach me some things, and usually patience was one of those things. Having empathy with those who are difficult is one of the hardest things to do. I pray we can all find a way to humble ourselves and learn from those around us.

    Be blessed!

  3. Most excellent. Thanks for the super insight. Probably what Jesus was thinking when he said “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”

    God is with you!

  4. Totally agree that sometimes the way we view others is more of a reflection on us than them 🙂
    You’re a chaplain?! That’s so cool! I met a chaplain at the hospital I volunteer at and he was super cool!

    Keep doing what you do! 🙂

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