I know many people (myself included) who thought it would be a great idea to work for or hire a friend. You’ve know each other for a long time and get along great. It has to be a match made in Heaven, right? WRONG! Allow me to share a little bit of my experience with you.
I took a ministry opportunity where I would be working with a friend. It was not that he was a bad pastor or supervisor. He is a great guy. When I stepped down, I was hurt for a little while. Now that I see the bigger picture, I have healed from that and maintain a great friendship with him. He continues to reach out and encourage me. God spared us from a situation that could have had horrible consequences.
The line between profession and friendship must be drawn clearly. When you blend the two, it can be a recipe for disaster. It breeds jealousy in a company because favoritism arises. The rules that apply to one do not apply to all. The end tends to be very bitter. Avoid it at all costs. Keep high standards when it comes to relationship boundaries. Work must be professional. Friendship can be more casual (within reason). Whatever you do, leave emotions out of it. Logic should take precedence at all times. For the believer, always listen to the Holy Spirit. He will always lead you the right way.
I can definitely see the dilemma in pastoring friends. People tend to set pastors on spiritual pedestals (usually for good reason, but pastors are still human), so it’s probably impossible to reach their standards when they know you well enough to know you’re human just like them.
These things do get tangled easily. Good warning.
We had a problem in our church one time when an elder wanted to be hired onto the staff. When they were not, it led to people choosing sides and a rift formed. IN time, all was forgiven, but it was uncomfortable around certain people for years. As a ruling elder at the time, I was for adding a rule that no church member would ever be considered for a paid staff position. It passed, but ever since the rule was added, they have tried to find ways around it. Things get tied into knots when that happens. Personality conflicts lead to angst, and what can anyone do? Any reaction makes things worse in a public way.
So true. Some situations lend to conflict, no matter what is done.
My husband is a chiropractor and we always have friends that are either a massage therapist and need to boost their income by working in our office or someone needing front office work—NO WAYYYY.
If they don’t perform, we need to be able to cut ties.
No hiring friends!
It is a rare thing that a friend or member of the family will not attempt to take advantage of their supervisor.
Wise words!