I know most of you, at least my older readers, have heard the phrase “trying to fit a square peg in a round hole”. I have spent a lot of my life trying to do that. You would think I would have learned my lesson, but I attempted it again recently.
A nearby church was looking for a staff member, so I thought I would inquire. I emailed them with hopes that they would tell me not to apply due to my divorce and remarriage. They encouraged me to pursue it, so I did. Tonight, I received the traditional “we feel led in a different direction” email. A part of me was relieved as I knew this was something I could do, but it most likely was not something God wanted me to do. God confirmed that, and I am grateful.
I am still at the stage of wondering what is next. I continue to realize how different I am, and I continue to feel like I am a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I know that I will not have peace if I attempt to do something I am not called to do.
My advice to the reader: Don’t be afraid to stand out! If you are a born again believer, you were made to stand out. God did not call you to blend in. The world will not understand you, and it is not supposed to understand you. As our pastor has been preaching, God called us to be pioneers not settlers. Many of us choose to settle because it’s easy. Shake off the comfort and go against the grain. You’ll be surprised how God will use you.
My job allows me to have some wonderful encounters with people. Today was no disappointment. My supervisor called and asked me to see a new patient, so I got the info and headed that way.
According to statistics, most people will not give their life to Christ after a certain young age. Such was not the case with the person I met today. This individual went forward at the age of 69 on an Easter Sunday to surrender to Christ. This person is now 97 and still longs to be close to God. I walked into a home today and found someone whose spiritual hunger is still strong. The sad thing is I encounter people much younger whose hunger is gone.
When I grow up (I have a long way from 38 to 97), I still want that fire in my bones. I still want tears to roll down my face as I reflect on what Christ did for me just like it was yesterday. I still want to soak in biblical truth and tell as many as possible that Jesus saves. The bottom line is I want to finish stronger than I started.
This thoughts stems from a conversation I had recently with a friend. Someone had come to him seeking advice. This friend told him, “Feed your mind.” I began to dwell on that.
What you allow to enter your mind is what will come out in your actions and lifestyle. The eyes are a pathway to your mind. What do you see from day to day? The ears are another pathway. What kind of music and other content do you allow to enter your mind via your ears? It has always been said, “Garbage in, garbage out.”
I found that when I was a pastor, it was so much easier to put the right things in by necessity. The job required me to be in constant study so I could prepare sermons with substance. I miss those days when I could close myself in an office for hours alone with God.
This friend challenged me to find my mind once again with knowledge. The big question is, “What time will I set aside to do so?” I want to be the best I can be. If I don’t take this step, I will continue to remain stagnant.
Are you stagnant? May I ask you, “How are you feeding your mind?”
I know many are reading the title “Divorced Female Evangelist”, and all kinds of thoughts are going through the reader’s minds. Condemnation of divorce. Rebuke of the thought of a woman declaring the gospel. On and on we could go. If these are your thoughts, please dismiss them and focus on the bigger picture.
Jesus is on a journey. He stops for rest and water. Meanwhile, He encounters a lady. First mistake – He was not to speak to this lady alone. Second mistake – He was a Jewish man speaking to a Samaritan woman (a half-breed of the day who was part Jew and part Gentile). Third mistake – This woman had a bad reputation. She had been married 5 times and was living with a man at that time who was not her husband. A pastor friend of mine helped me see this through a different lens. She had been divorced 5 times. In a day when divorce was more taboo than now, she had 5 failed marriages. She couldn’t get it right. Many today would still write off this woman because of her past.
What did Jesus do here? He didn’t call her a tramp and tell her to marry the man she was with and stay with him. He met the deeper need – He told her that only He, the Living Water, could satisfy her deepest longings. Once she experienced His forgiveness, she went back and evangelized. She was a divorced female evangelist who told about Jesus all over town. Did it fall on deaf ears because she was a woman! NO! Revival spread, and many believed.
You may look at someone and think he or she is beyond hope. Jesus sees the potential one can have when He saves that person. Don’t lose sight of the big picture!
Image from media4lifeministries.com