I have heard many make the statement, “A Divorced person cannot do premarital or relationship counseling because he or she couldn’t keep his or her marriage together.” Makes sense, right? Or does it? If the opening statement is true, then a womanizing counselor can cheat on his wife who lovingly stays by his side can provide sound counsel? If no one is aware of his cheating ways, the opening statement would “stand to reason”. Or would it?
Many marriages stay together, but longevity does not necessarily equal success. I know many who are miserable in their long marriages. I observe men who constantly belittle their wives publicly and privately or women who do the same. No one sees the horrible arguments behind closed doors and issues that never get resolved, yet people assume they can provide counsel because they stay together. That’s ludicrous!
As one who is divorced and remarried, I can give counsel – not from my successful first marriage (because it wasn’t) but because of what I learned. I do my best to be transparent about my own flaws. I tell people of attitudes and actions that should have been different. I don’t have a perfect marriage now, but the Holy Spirit can fill me to speak just as much as ever before. God used a donkey to speak in the Old Testament, and He can still use them today (take that as you will).
We cannot play God and say what He will or will not use. God can used unlikely people throughout history, and He continues to do so. Never underestimate our great God!