It is sad that we live in a society that has created the stereotypical man and stereotypical woman. While some men and women reflect the societal stereotype, many do not. I cannot speak from a female perspective, but I can tell you a few things about a man.
Many view the needs of a man as simple: food and sex. I actually heard a pastor preach and tell the women in the congregation to keep their men well fed and well bred. It’s not that simple. This is not one-size-fits-all, but here are some things to consider. I welcome some tasteful insight in the comments.
- Men want to be respected. If a man feels disrespected, you should expect a breakdown in communication. If a man feels like the one who approaches him is being condescending, he will shut down.
- Men want affirmation. If a man does not feel appreciated, he will eventually not want to give his best because he will feel like it is not good enough.
- Men don’t want to be nagged. This has some relation to the previous statement regarding affirmation. If all a man hears is what he does wrong or has his every move controlled, he will fight back or internalize his feelings that will eventually lead to bitterness.
Men do have emotions. The men I saw in my family acted tough, but I saw their softer sides. They tried to act like they had it all together, but they were affected by things emotionally.
To the ladies reading this, the man in your life may not seem like what I describe. Every man is different. Find out his love language and “speak it” as he should do the same for you.
I will close with a few resources that I have found helpful:
- “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman
- “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard E. Harley, Jr.
- “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs
Communication is key, so it is necessary for you to know true needs of a man. It is not as black and white as you might think.